The image we have of ourselves is often harsh, distorted and unforgiving. We are our own worst enemy, the worst judge in the world! Vanessa van der Lelij, image consultant, has written the following beautiful text especially for you. We hope it will soften your outlook and give you confidence. Your body and mind deserve a little indulgence and kindness.

What's absolutely certain is that we all came out of a woman's womb when our life on earth began.

This sentence seems extremely banal, but at the same time it's a universal fact for every human being. I find it both interesting and beautiful to remember.

A woman's life is a succession of physical metamorphoses. We evolve and change throughout childhood, and major bodily transformations take place during the delicate period of adolescence. We have absolutely no idea what we're going to look like as women.

What kind of body are we going to have?

It's extremely disturbing, even terrifying...

As our breasts develop, it's impossible to predict their final size!

Small like my mom? Big-breasted like my grandmother?

As time goes by, some accept this new female body, sometimes curvaceous, sometimes squarer and more athletic (we're all so different), and others less so. They don't like what they see in the mirror, and focus on what bothers them rather than on what they could enhance.

And when the time comes to get pregnant, it's the big upheaval all over again.

Our bodies carry life, and this brings enormous physical and emotional changes.

I remember both my pregnancies perfectly!

I never hid it from anyone, I hated being pregnant. Both times...

"My God, she dared to write that."

Yes, it's true. I was so happy at the idea of giving birth and so sick that I wanted to scream all the time.

Imagine the paradox!

I was even more depressed because I told myself that because I felt bad, I was going to transmit bad vibes to my baby.

I put on 20 kilos or more (but I stopped weighing myself after going over a certain number on the scale) both times.

Overall, I was unbearable and as heavy as a small whale.

What helped me?

Optimism and inner confidence in my body's ability to handle it all.

I never once doubted that I would be able to feel comfortable in my body again.

I said to myself, it's for a good cause.

And it worked!

Our inner dialogue with ourselves is extraordinarily powerful.

Despite the fact that I was ill, I accepted this transformation of my body linked to my condition and then visualized the figure I wished to regain calmly.

A first piece of advice I'd like to give to all pregnant women and new mothers,

Get rid of your scale.

She'll never be your friend during this period.

And even then... I haven't used it in years.

When you lose weight, you'll feel it in your clothes and when you look in the mirror, and when you gain weight, it's the same.

The second tip is to keep only clothes that you're comfortable and at ease in during pregnancy.

After giving birth, turn to a few outfits that are a little more elegant but still simple and comfortable, and above all in the right size!

It's better to wear just one skirt and two pairs of pants for a few months than to wear the oversized pieces you were in with your big belly that have become shapeless, or those still far too fitted that you wore before pregnancy.

Keep clothes that are really too small out of your closet, which will depress you if you can't wear them and see them every day.

The key for me, and God knows I had complexes when I was much younger, was learning to love the body I saw in the mirror.

When I really accepted myself as I was, I started to think I was pretty.

That's when I decided that it was essential for me to take care of the body that would be mine for the rest of my life, and that it was also very important to show it off to its best advantage.

Stand in front of the mirror and do the exercise of focusing only on your physical assets, putting aside what you like least.

Be kind and positive to yourself.

Your hair is thick and shiny, wonderful!

Your décolletage is gorgeous!

Your eyes are an incredible color, superb!

Your buttocks are high and bouncy, great!

Your legs are sublime!

Yes, the period when you become a mother and your children are very young is a delicate one!

I lived through it and it was difficult.

And yes, it's important for you to remember that you're more than that.

You're still the woman you were before you became a mother, and taking care of yourself is absolutely essential.

Better yet, VITAL!

Why don't most women give themselves permission to look after themselves, especially when they become mothers, BEFORE looking after others?

I always think of the instructions given on the plane. Grab your own oxygen mask first, before taking care of your loved ones.

Sounds so sensible and logical, doesn't it?

I therefore launch a cry from the heart and with all my body:

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF FIRST before looking after others.

It'll change your life!

For more than 4 years now, I've been welcoming beautiful women to my studio every week, but they don't know how beautiful they are.

They spend their time focusing on what they don't like about themselves rather than seeing the positive.

I'm absolutely delighted to help them find their way and bring out the best in themselves!

Vanessa van der Lelij
Revealer of natural, ethical and organic beauty
www.vraiment-moi.ch